I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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