Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
