a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
