I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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