turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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