Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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