sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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