You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
