Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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