the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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