i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
