areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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