thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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