He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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