apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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