he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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