I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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