Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i've created a new STD.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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