Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
