He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize