Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
