Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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