what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
