We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
