I'm lost and stupid without you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
