based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
