Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
whose parrot is this?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
