He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
