she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
