a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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