I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
ok first of all what the fuck
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