i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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