as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize