there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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