they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
