my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we're making bets on your personal life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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