she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
