i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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