i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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