Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
