So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
