Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize