Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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