The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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