You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
