omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
