WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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