Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
