he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
