You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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