Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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