i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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