The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
