I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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