You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
