I want to make a zoo with you.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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