Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I look excited, but its just a facade.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
