there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
