Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
