she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
