no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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