And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
