her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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