YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
