My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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